if: Sneaky

November 23, 2010

For this IF prompt, I dug into my archives for some quick sketches I did for the Swedish folk song "Nikolina". There was a sneaky couple! I remember my grandpa singing this in Swedish. The words always make me laugh--though I must quote Jane Austen:
I leave it to be settled, by whomsoever it may concern, whether the tendency of this work be altogether to recommend parental tyranny, or reward filial disobedience.
    When you're in love, you're in an awful torture,
    whoever's tried it would not disagree.
    I was so very fond of Nikolina
    and Nikolina just as fond of me.

    I asked her papa for her hand in marriage
    and got the answer in the strangest way.
    I never yet have left from any doorstep
    in such a hurry as I did that day.

    Then I went home and wrote to Nikolina,
    "Oh, Nikolina, won't you meet me soon!
    Meet me in the woods on Wednesday evening,
    and be there with the rising of the moon."
    And there I met a figure disconcerting,
    the moon no greater glory could attain.
    The one I met was Nikolina's papa,
    armed with the meanest, most disturbing cane.

    And all at once my knees began to tremble,
    I tried to run but there was not a chance,
    for in the woods when on my knees I stumbled,
    the cane began to do a polka dance.

    Then I went home and wrote to Nikolina,
    "There's not the slightest bit of hope in me.
    If you don't end me of this awful torture,
    I'll end it all by jumping in the sea."
    And Nikolina answered in a hurry,
    "Oh, darling Karl, don't be so unwise!
    A suicide is nothing but a dumbbbell,
    why don't we wait until the old man dies?"

    And now I wait and so does Nikolina
    to see the old man kick the bucket soon,
    and on his grave we're planting for remembrance
    the cane he used upon me `neath the moon.

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